Yesterday at breakfast I was talking to two colleagues about how we all use AI. Their faces lit up with excitement as they each described the time it was saving them from repetitive work.
The wealth manager Doug said Claude now built into his email was able to respond in what he described as “his voice.” He always carefully read the text and often edited words, phrases, and punctuation before pressing send. He said Claude is great but not good enough for his company and his clients without his oversight.

The private banker Scott was equally enthusiastic. He described how he used several AI agents for different tasks. He used TrendSpider to track the NYSE and Holly AI to act as a virtual trading assistant. He also commented that there is no substitute for listening carefully and understanding each client’s needs so that his advice is appropriate for that time in the clients’ journey. Scott also said like Doug he uses AI that’s built into his bank’s email system and also carefully checks each email before pressing send.

My use of AI differs from Doug and Scott. I am a clinical psychologist who is now a business coach and consultant. My coaching always blends my business experience with my clinical skills creating opportunities for the client to create changes in their behavior which over time can become new habits. Years before AI, I would take notes and then write my clients letters to reinforce the new behaviors the client had committed to do.
Now, in the process of coaching a client, I ask my clients permission to record all or part of a coaching conversation. I then carefully construct a prompt. With assistance from an IT expert, I have constructed a specialized version of ChatGPT to analyze coaching conversations that does not allow any data to be shared. I then very carefully edit what comes back for accuracy and clarity before sending it back to the client along with actions and commitments they have made before our next session. I also use AI as a research assistant as all of my leadership training and individual coaching is based on published science.
These are just three examples of how today AI is supporting but not replacing experienced professionals. There will always be a place for our experience and wisdom as we work with other people to express our empathy and deep understanding of the human experience.
Please contact me for complimentary, confidential conversations for anything you would like to change in your work or in your life: tom@corporateinnovation.com; 310-948-3722.
Tom Drucker MA Clinical Psychology UCLA , PhD Work at Anderson School of Business UCLA, is a founding partner of Consultants in Corporate Innovation, transforming leaders and teams plus improving processes in companies big and small. He is also a managing director at Janas Investment Bank. Learn more about him at www.corporate-innovation.com and janascorp.com.

​Rose was sent to me for coaching by the managing partner of an investment firm because a client had requested that Rose leave the deal team after a particularly contentious meeting. The business owner said Rose had not listened to him when he explained how he wanted his company presented to prospective buyers. 

When I met with Rose in my office, Rose claimed the business owner was stubborn and would not listen to what she had to say. I said I understood how owners who put their life’s work into a business needed an investment banker to have a particular set of listening tools to help them create a relationship that would help them have confidence that their deal team could represent them and their business brilliantly to prospective buyers. I reviewed with her 4 types of listening that will help anybody be effective having important conversations leading to valuable outcomes. 

• Reflective listening demonstrates empathy and understanding. The speaker feels heard which builds trust. 
  • It lowers any emotional tension because the speaker feels psychologically safe with the listener.
  • When you reflect back both the emotions and the meaning of what the speaker expressed, the speaker feels even more connected to the listener. 
  • This can deepen bonds which extend beyond this immediate conversation. 
• Curiosity-based listening. Curious questions signal genuine interest. 
  • Curiosity helps people feel respected and slows the pace of the conversation so people have time to think and feel relaxed.
  • This is particularly useful in high stakes conversations where one or both participants are anxious coming into the conversation.
• Listening for emotions before problem solving. Many conversations involve solving a problem. These conversations may involve two or perhaps several people.
  • Research shows that without dealing with the emotions first, problems will not be successfully resolved.
  • People who are anxious need emotional acknowledgment first before they engage in dialogue or can be receptive to advice.
• Listening for underlying needs.  Listening for needs first rather than a person’s position frequently reveals a common ground.
  • When a person feels that someone understands not just what they’re saying but what they’re needing, trust increases and tension tends to deescalate. 
  • If a participant is expressing strong emotions, it usually means they have an unmet need so asking questions like “What concerns you most?”, “What are you hoping for?”, or “What’s a good outcome for you?” will often reveal the person’s underlying need. 
  • This is much more productive than debating facts.

Rose was smiling as we finished discussing these four types of listening. She felt confident she could apologize to the business owner and demonstrate how she in fact did understand what made his business unique and together how they would collaborate in the marketing and positioning his business to prospective buyers. 

​I was asked to coach new manager Stephanie (not her real name). After a successful career as a salesperson, she had been promoted to manage one of many global sales teams selling AI enhanced CRM systems to Fortune 100 companies. ​

As a salesperson, Stephanie knew how to build trust plus she had the capacity to understand her customers’ needs and concerns. She also built relationships with the senior executives of each company she sold to. Consequently, her customers held her in great esteem. 
 
I first met with Stephanie one month after she had assumed her position. She had one on ones with each of her sales executives where she reminded them that sales reporting forms and procedures would remain the same. Stephanie shared with me she felt unsure of herself as a manager as several people on her team had more experience and were older than she was. 
 
I suggested there were several things Stephanie could do that would help her feel more confident while also helping her team members feel more engaged with each other and with Stephanie.
 
I asked Stephanie if she would be willing to work with me to create a list of principles and actions that would form the basis of her new team culture. This culture would be the foundation of her management and leadership. She could go forward in developing individual relationships with each of her team members. Stephanie would also have the clarity to create agendas, conduct team meetings, deal with mistakes, inspire excellent performance and most importantly exceed the sales targets she has been given. She was excited at this idea, so we began. Based on research, here is what we came up with:
​

• I believe in open and direct communication. I pledge to help us all create a culture that feels psychologically safe so that being truthful and keeping commitments become a natural way of working. Mistakes will happen. We all must learn from them and be gentle with each other. 
• Customers come first. We are here to understand their needs which may change as the sales cycle proceeds. Each corporation has many customers and it’s our job to get to know and be trusted by as many of these customers as possible. 
• Innovation and creativity is fun and I want it to be part of everyone’s job and I believe it is essential for our team’s success. New ideas will be an agenda item on each of our team meetings. Our ideas will be forwarded to our research and development division. I will ensure we get feedback from them so we can learn and continue to be inspired because I know creativity is contagious.
• I believe in professional growth and development. This is in addition to the sales meetings I know we will attend. In our next one on one meeting, I want to talk about you and your growth and development as a professional. Perhaps you want a job like mine or a job in the home office. Let’s talk about your future and the steps necessary because I want to help you achieve what you want.
• I want us to get to know each other better. When I was asked to take this job, I asked for budget to host an in-person meeting where we would do some work, meet with some corporate staff, and get to know each other as people. Over the next couple months, we’ll work out timing because I know many of you have families and I want everyone to be able to comfortably come together with as little stress as possible.

Stephanie called me a month later. She sounded much more confident. She told me her team responded extremely well to her plans. New sales leads had picked up. Team members had already begun to schedule one-on-one meetings, and they were eager discuss developmental action plans. 
 
Building a culture of performance is a bit like being fitted for a custom-made suit. Every team, company, or organization, just like every person, is unique. They all require different guiding principles, yet there may be some deeper common wisdom. All people at work want to feel safe, respected, listened to, and given opportunities to succeed and grow.  

I asked Rita to show me her calendar for a typical workday. She would often go from one meeting to another, have a working lunch, then fit in emails and phone calls late in her workday or from home after dinner. She reported that stress was a constant companion, and she rarely felt a sense of satisfaction. This caused the stress that Rita continually felt. It also affected Rita’s body and created a fight, flight, or freeze response.
However, knowing this will not help Rita alleviate her stress. I asked Rita if she would be willing to try an experiment with me. She agreed. I then asked her to uncross her legs and put both feet flat on the floor and rest her arms on her thighs and close her eyes. I then guided her through a five-minute mindfulness exercise. Our minds are naturally generating tons of thoughts. It’s also true that we can bring our deeper attention to our breath. I asked her to close her eyes, inhale through her nose and exhale through her mouth making a sound of “ahhh” which reduces stress. After a few doing this five times I asked her to open her eyes and she smiled and she said she felt better.
Our brains are interconnected regions made up of billions of neurons helping us navigate our world and regulating every bodily function. Our brains also have neural networks that allow us to do hundreds of things habitually like knowing what a door is and how to open it, recognizing friends and loved ones, etc. With intention and practice we can develop new neural networks. This is how Rita and I were going to reduce her stress and help her find satisfaction and joy in her work.
I asked Rita to come to the next session with a list of what she finds meaningful about her job and what she appreciates about the people she works with. When you share experiences and support the people you work with, work transforms from a series of tasks to creating a community of common purpose.
It’s also important for Rita to learn to establish healthy boundaries. For instance, learning to say no when necessary and avoid overcommitting. We worked together on her calendar so she created breaks between meetings so she could take a short walk outside and breathe some fresh air. She also promised to take an actual lunch break and work out two or three times a week in the office gym to have a more balanced lifestyle and ensure her long-term well-being. Together we looked at the development and learning opportunities the firm offered. Then I encouraged her at the earliest opportunity to talk to her supervisor about when he could recommend her to be promoted to a director position.
Rita’s supervisor and her family were relieved that after three months, Rita had returned to her old self. She looked healthier, she was more relaxed, she was not working after dinner so the family could watch TV together, and weekends were once again family time.
For all of us in today’s competitive and high-pressured workplaces, it’s important that we take responsibility for our own well-being. This requires intention and practice. It also takes maintaining a positive outlook, sustaining good relationships, setting boundaries, and pursuing growth opportunities. In this way, you can transform your work life into a source of happiness and fulfillment.