Getting results without pissing people off

I was raised to be a nice guy. When I was lucky enough to lead a large organization early in my career I learned the hard way that I needed to toughen up, for the people I hired did not always get their assignments completed when they said they would. As the title of this blog says, I did get results, but it was at a cost. The morale in my global organization looked like a roller coaster. I learned the hard way over my 15 years, lessons this research revealed. 

As a leader and a management consultant, I saw there is no single way to solve a problem. Each problem fits into a context of the circumstances and people surrounding it. When any leader operates with a strong result-orientation, she/he must also be very supportive. If that leader is not supportive, they run the risk of breaking the bonds of trust and respect essential for today’s high-performing organizations. 

In helping clients set goals, I always help them balance the yin and the yang of enforcing with warmth. I find it’s different for each person and sometimes for that person at that moment. So, if it’s a large, written request, it’s a good idea to personally touch base with that person or team to make sure your message “landed” the way you intended. Leaders of every age, experience, and size of organization find this truth hard to accept. Most of us grew up believing that the title of manager or leader automatically conferred upon us a certain power. One important aspect of this “imaginary power” was that if we made a request within the boundary of the organization we led to a member or team in our organization, they would just do it. 

That reality has veered widely from this delusion for a very long time. Yet, many of you reading this blog keep putting up with people around you who repeatedly miss their commitments to you and others.

I have some tips that you can put into action to help. 

First, speak about your own tendency to not follow through on all of your own commitments and what you are doing to be more mindful. Tell your colleagues about simple reminders like Post-Its on your computer screen or audible reminders you set for a day or two days ahead of when you agreed to deliver your assignment. That way, you will have time to finish the task. 


Coach others if they have agreed to be coached and help them develop cues to prompt reminding them of their deadlines to commitments they have made. Follow up with these individuals weekly for a month. Then, hand your role over to someone of their choosing to help sustain their new habit of 100% follow-through on keeping their commitments.

Offer to coach teams that want to deliver on all the promises they make. Using the same methods you use for individuals, a team will make great progress.  Create sub-groups of 2 or 3 “commitment buddies” to support each other keeping the team’s promises. Teach them to use the tools and tips you have taught individuals until these practices become habits of the team’s culture. Instruct the team to create training materials for new team members so they will learn to support 100% commitments kept. 

Encourage others in your organization to adopt these basic behaviors. With determination and time, you can become the spark that lights a flame in your organization’s culture.

Getting results in your firm with people feeling proud instead of being pissed off will become the new normal. Stress will also be reduced because individuals will be more responsible and accountable for their own promises with less control needed by others.