I Know You Can Hear Me, But Are you Listening?

I learned the importance of listening when I studied improv in High School. Aside from the famous phrase called “yes, and” improv taught me the importance of listening, not just to the words, but the meaning of what others were saying. Today, as a coach and consultant, I find listening essential to building trust and being of service.
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Some Tips to Improve Listening:

·      Listening is an intentional activity. Use phrases like, “I see,” or “I understand,” and reflect back key points to confirm there is alignment between what is being said and what you are hearing. This is often called “active listening.”
·      There is another kind of listening called “generous listening.” This is listening without judgment. It involves being open minded, patient, and empathic. Generous listening fosters mutual respect and builds trust which I have found is the basis of accomplishing anything of value with others.
·      We don’t just listen with our ears. When we look into another person’s eyes during a conversation, they experience us as present and attentive to them and their message.
·      When on a video call, remember to look both at the people and into your camera so people experience you as being attentive and listening to the speaker.
·      Avoid the temptation to multitask when you’re on a video call cause others will notice you are not paying full attention.
·      When people are being argumentative, it’s important to pause before speaking so as not to sound defensive. Seek to understand concerns before responding.
·      Expressing curiosity is an excellent way to demonstrate good listening.
·      Good listening requires setting aside enough time for a conversation, so you don’t appear to be rushed or feel the need to respond without first thinking deeply.

Think of good listening as a gift you give others. Being a good listener may also inspire people to give the gift back and listen to you with more attentiveness.
Please contact me for a complimentary, confidential conversation about how to get more joy out of your work with less stress.