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Your Mind is Often Your Greatest Tool, Except when It's Not

5/22/2025

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We’ve all had the experience of a sudden upset. Something unexpectedly goes wrong, and our brains are hard-wired to react. Our minds and bodies can quickly shift from a neutral or positive state to a negative one. We can become frustrated, angry, and anxious. We can experience our hearts racing and feel a knot in our stomach. Our thoughts and perceptions can become distorted making it difficult to think clearly and make rational decisions. Our self-talk turns negative, and we can become defensive and withdrawn. ​
The good news is that we can all learn not to be held hostage by our anxiety. One researched best practice is to take these 3 steps.
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1. Recognize what’s happening and take a pause and breathe with intention. For instance, inhale slowly through your nose, hold for a count of two or three, and then breathe out through your mouth. Doing this for a minute or two will begin to change your body’s chemistry.
2. Observe the facts. What actually happened? Who besides you will be affected? These questions help separate the reality of the situation from your emotional reaction.
3. Choose what the next step is. It could be to observe more. Perhaps gather information from others. In essence, the more solid information you have, the less likely you are to act impulsively out of fear.

A CEO named Harry (not his real name) that I was coaching told me he had gotten a message the day before that a field worker received an electric shock which sent him to a local hospital. Harry had been practicing this three-step process that I taught him. He proudly told me he had quickly recognized his fear and took a few minutes to consciously breathe until he felt himself relax. He then made a list of people to call. First, he talked to the injured employee and reassured that person’s family that the doctor said he would fully recover. He then spoke with the worker’s supervisor and the field manager to begin the process of determining what changes needed to be made so this type of accident would never happen again.

I have applied this 3-step process myself professionally and personally. The next time you encounter an upset at work or at home, you can use this framework too to get you to the other side.

Please contact me for a complimentary, confidential conversation about how to get more joy out of your work with less stress.
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  • Home
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    • Leadership Coaching
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    • Custom Programs
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  • Results
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  • Case Study
  • Insights
  • Contact